Math Jokes

In celebration of Math, here are a few math jokes that’ll surely make you giggle. If, for some unexplainable reason, you don’t get it, Numberphile has a great video explaining them.

1. A man walks into a bar and asks for an order 10 times more drinks than everyone else. The bar man says, “now that’s an order of magnitude.
2. An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first mathematician orders one pint, the second ordered one-half a pint. The third ordered one-fourth of a pint. The fourth ordered one-eighth of a pint. Eventually, the bar man gives two pints and says, “you mathematicians, you just don’t know your limits.”
3. Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine.
4. How do you make seven even? Remove the s.
5. Two cats are standing on a roof. Which one falls off first? The one with the smallest mu.
6. What did zero say to eight? “Nice belt.”
7. What do you get if you cross a mosquito and mountain climber? Nothing, because you can’t cross a vector and a scalar.

I’ll be honest, before I even watched the explained portion (I basically skipped each explanation and went through the jokes first before actually watching the video in full), I didn’t quite get most of them (especially numbers 2 and 7). After the video, I laughed and continued on with my day.

Here’s the video from Numberphile:

Keep Chewing!

Laughing is Good

Here are some great computer jokes that will surely make you laugh!

The General Ones

Like car accidents, most hardware failures are due to driver errors.

Evolution is God’s way of issuing updates.

My software doesn’t have bugs. It just develops random features.

These must really hurt for Windows…

The box said “requires Windows Vista or better,” so I installed Linux.

What’s the difference between a computer virus and Windows? Viruses do something.

Computers are like air conditioners; they stop working after you open windows.

Apple still sucks…

The best accelerator for a Mac is the one that causes it to speed up at 9.81 m/s^2.

While Linux literally gives away stuff for free, Apple resells it for $99.

A Mac user calls tech support and asks, “what is Linux?” The technician begins laughing and answers, “it’s an open source operating system, meaning any programmer can alter and change the source code. It’s also stable, so stable that NASA uses it at the Space Station. Oh, and it’s free!” The Mac user immediately hangs up.

Keep Chewing!

Execute Jokes

There are so many jokes out there about computers. I’m sorry I haven’t done this in a while, but I completely lost time on finding some good jokes.

Here are a few good ones that will surely make you laugh!

If at first you don’t succeed, call it version 1.0

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?

I’m not anti-social; I’m just not user friendly.

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

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Here’s the last one. It’s some funny code.

if (computer.fail == true) {
    background.setColor(blue);
    user.frown();
    sys.shutdown();
    user.scream("OH, F**K YOU");
}// Awesome and Keep Chewing!

Programmer Puns

I found these online. When I read  them, I laughed so hard that I have no clue why. Here we go!

1. What does a programmer drink when writing code for a long period of time? JAVA
2. What kind of juice does a programmer like? Orange juice because it has Vitamin C!
3. What kind of pet does a programmer have? A pet Python!

CORNY TO THE MAX! Here’s some corn.

Keep Chewing!

This Made My Day!

Hello everyone! I hope everyone had a great weekend. It was an awesome May the Fourth and Cinco de Mayo weekend. Take hold! I call it Pardon the Pun (PTP). I found inspiration reading puns online when I was bored.

Here you go:

Why did the programmer quit his job?

Because he didn’t get arrays!

Joke pun = new Joke (system.pun);

Keep Chewing!